Scary Moments

The first therapist I ever saw was a very kind and wise woman. One day, in a moment when I was feeling angry with myself and she was trying to be supportive she said something that I have always remembered. “People are like every day china. They have some chips and cracks.” That certainly is true. We can’t get through life without collecting scars of different kinds. Some are physical and some psychological.

Although it looks as if you have gotten over the time you fell off your bike and broke your arm or the time you had your tonsils removed when you were four or even a recent root canal, these kinds of experiences can leave us with unhealed emotional wounds. One kind of wound that most of us suffer is the Diagnosis Trauma. That is the moment the doctor tells you what is wrong with you. Inwardly you may flinch or your head may spin, but you usually don’t show it outwardly. We are all carrying memories of these moments. As they build up, they add to your collective stress and anxiety.

I can still remember the envelope that came in the mail after I had a pap test a number of years ago. It was long and gray. When I opened it up there was a letter informing me that my test result was positive. The first thing that came to my mind was that this was a death sentence. I know that this sounds like an exaggeration but that is how the human brain works. As I write this I can remember the feeling as if it was last week. I was very scared and didn’t know what to do. When I went back to the doctor for a new examination I discovered that it was merely an infection that was easily treated.

Fortunately, I was able to tell my doctor how scared I was. I was lucky that he was a caring and compassionate person. He understood my reaction to the cold and impersonal way the news was sent, and changed his policy. Thereafter, he always told the patient in person if there was a problem diagnosis.

But not all health practitioners act that way. A woman in one of my classes had a very rare form of cancer. She was expected to die very quickly and went to many specialists trying to prolong her life. One day she saw one of the most famous doctors in that field. She recalled that as he talked to her he was doodling on a pad. She saw that he was drawing an abdomen. There was no head, face, arms or legs, just a stomach. She was furious when she realized that to him she was just a body part. “I was so mad at him that I decided that I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of dying. I was going to get back at him by staying alive.” And that is just what she did.

As you read this perhaps you are remembering a time when you received a scary diagnosis or were told that you needed a frightening test like an MRI or other invasive procedure. Right this minute you can stop and eliminate the remaining trauma that you are still carrying. I recommend using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), a simple acupressure technique to to release any fear or stress that are still lingering in your body or you mind.

Start by calling the incident to mind. Then rate your negative reaction on a scale of 0-10 with 10 being strong negative emotion. Tap the outside edge of your hand under the little finger and say, “Even though I am still carrying the trauma of that episode, I am letting go of all that fear and anxiety. Then gently tap on the remaining energy points and watch how the negative charge dissipates. Notice the thoughts, sensations and even other memories that come up. Keep tapping until you feel comfortable and peaceful. Then try to remember the original event. If there is still a negative emotion, tap some more. In this way you are healing the past and releasing positive energy into your system. You will feel better as you free yourself from the past.

 

Gloria Arenson is a Southern California based psychotherapist with a private therapy practice in Santa Barbara. She helps people to recover successfully from eating disorders, compulsive spending, anxiety, fears, phobias, PTSD, panic disorder and other problems. Gloria is a licensed hypnotherapist and is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychosynthesis, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). She specializes in cutting edge energy therapies such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), an acupressure based therapy method, Thought Field Therapy (TFT), and Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT).