Five Simple Steps To Emotional Healing
Once you become familiar with the basics of Meridian Therapy, you will notice that you can do it quickly. Soon you will be able perform the Five Easy Steps in less than one minute. You might be wondering if you can improve on Meridian Therapy or “do your own thing.” The answer is “Yes.” Thousands of people all over the world are using Meridian Therapy successfully. Many are also playing with the possibilities for making the technique more efficient or more fun to do. Here are seven creative shortcuts and innovative variations that you may want to try.
1. Narrative Meridian Therapy
You have a problem that you want to talk about but no one is around. Maybe you had a dream the other night that is still on your mind, and you wish you could understand what it means. Sometimes your problem is too personal to trust to another, yet you are puzzled about how to resolve it. These are good times to use the Narrative Meridian Therapy method.
Narrative Meridian Therapy is simply talking out loud to yourself while you tap the energy points. It also works if you say the words silently to yourself, thinking them in your head. Keep tapping round after round, and keep talking to yourself without stopping, until you are satisfied with the result.
You will want to be totally honest with yourself to get the best results. Use your own words. It’s OK to use curse words, if that is how you feel. It’s all right to admit feelings and thoughts you might be ashamed of if others could hear you. Pretending that things are fine when they aren’t or telling yourself that your rage or fear is childish keeps you from clearing the negativity contributing to your unease and unhappiness. These adverse thoughts and feelings are like pus in a wound. Clean it out!
Carol’s cussing
Carol was furious with her family. She would tend to be ladylike when talking to a friend. Then she would say, “I hate them for what they did. I wish I never had to see them again.” What she really was thinking sounded very different: “I wish I had an Uzi and could mow them down. I would like to annihilate every one of those *%$#@ people. They don’t deserve to live after what they did to me!” Of course Carol wouldn’t act out her rage; however, she felt better after venting her feelings while tapping. After a minute or two the anger dissipated. Then Carol felt great sadness both for herself and for the emotionally troubled people who brought her up.
Avoiding a fight
One evening when Shawna, an attractive woman in her forties, was at her twenty-three-year-old boyfriend’s apartment, she began to feel very upset but couldn’t figure out why. She knew that he hadn’t done or said anything to disturb her, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. Shawna knew that if she let her agitation remain and grow, she would start a fight with him for no reason. She excused herself and went into the bathroom where she could be alone.
Tapping and talking out loud to herself released what was really bothering her. Her fears and negative thoughts were about being older than her boyfriend. She worried that he would eventually want someone younger. As she tapped she realized that her maturity and intelligence were what made her such an interesting and fascinating partner. All dread dissolved as she tapped. She was then able to be loving and happy in a genuine way, without effort.
Tracy’s night terror
Tracy, a sixty-year-old professional woman, was upset because she was waking up at 3 AM with a terror about dying. This happened a few nights in a row. She began to worry about going to bed the next night. As she talked and tapped it sounded something like this:
- “I don’t like these feelings of terror. I am afraid.”
- “Uh oh, next week is my sixtieth birthday. Sixty, that’s old.”
- “This aging thing is awful. I don’t want to get old.”
- “Getting old means becoming invisible. I will fade away.”
- “People won’t take me seriously and know who I am.”
- “When people know who I am it makes me feel alive.”
- “I am an achiever. I want to keep it that way.”
- “Fame fades. Where are all the famous people from my youth now?”
- “Is this what it is all about, being known and recognized?”
- “But it’s too late in my life. Time and opportunity have passed me by.”
- “It’s never too late. Who knows what else I will do in my life!”
- “I feel regret, regret, regret.” (tapped the same word on all points)
- “I’m remembering all the men who were my contemporaries.”
- “They are out there leading things, being renown.”
- “Anger, anger, anger.” (tapped the same word on all points)
- “My generation couldn’t achieve like those men. We were pressured to become wives and mothers first.”
- “Too late! You only get one chance and I blew it.”
- “Nonsense.”
- “I feel sad, sad, sad, sad.” (tapped the same word on all points)
- “I am through with this old stuff. I don’t need it anymore.”
- “I feel better now.”
Tracy felt free of her unhappiness after less than five minutes, using the narrative method. Her sleep improved, and she stopped thinking about the past and got on with new projects.
When to talk to yourself
Narrative Meridian Therapy works best with a specific feeling or issue that can be narrowly pinpointed. It is also good to use in an emergency, as Shawna did. If you try to talk to yourself about a global problem like depression, compulsion, or trauma, you may find yourself stuck, going around and around in a negative loop. When that happens stop using the Narrative approach, and go back to the Five Easy Steps of Meridian Therapy.
2. Two-Handed Tapping
Some people feel more comfortable using both hands to tap the same points on the left and right sides simultaneously. John reported that he felt more balanced using two-handed tapping and got a sense of greater resolution. “It just feels right,” he said. Acupressure practitioners maintain that it balances the yin and yang energy. Try one-handed and two-handed Meridian Therapy and compare.
3. Mental Tapping
Joseph can’t tap because he is a quadriplegic. He suffers from constant pain and frequent muscle spasms. He discovered that when he clearly imagined tapping each energy point, he could diminish the pain. Joseph enjoys having some control over his condition.
Use your imagination
You can use Mental Tapping too when you’re feeling strong emotions but can’t get away to a private place to tap. Tap in your imagination. Think of your problem. Go through the sequence by putting your attention on each Meridian Therapy point, and holding it there for a few seconds. Picture your fingers tapping each point. Imagine the feeling on your skin. Say “tap, tap, tap” to yourself. Experiment and find what works best for you.
How Julia kept her cool
Julia was having dinner in a noisy restaurant with a friend before going to a play. She put her hand up to her ear to adjust her button hearing aid and discovered that it was gone. Julia panicked. The hearing aids she wears are very expensive and take a while to be replaced. She didn’t have time to go home to see if she had dropped it there or lost it in the dress store where she had tried on clothing that afternoon. As her anxiety mounted, she thought of Meridian Therapy but didn’t want to do it in front of her dinner partner. She simply used her imagination. After only one sequence the panic was gone. She went to the theater and had an enjoyable evening. What a relief it was to find the hearing aid on the floor of the bedroom when she got home.
Mental tapping can be done anywhere, any time. You can tap in a meeting, on a plane, in a doctor’s office or at a party. You can tap alone or with others present.
4. The Body Knows
Tension in your body may represent stress in your life. Your body is telling you something, and you can learn to decode the message. Negative emotions often show up as physical discomfort. You may not be aware you are feeling angry, yet you may grind your teeth in your sleep. Distress in the body can lead to muscle or joint pain. Focus on the physical sensation rather than words that describe a problem. Begin with a pain in your neck, shoulder or back, heaviness in your chest, or a lump in your throat. Use the Five Easy Steps saying, “Even though my lower back is hurting, I completely accept myself.”
Follow the feeling
After the first round of Meridian Therapy notice what has happened. Has the discomfort lessened or disappeared? Has it moved elsewhere? If it has lessened, keep tapping until it is gone. If it has moved to another part of your body, tap that new feeling. Follow the pain as it moves to different places in your body. After each round, notice the changes. Keep this up until the pain is gone.
As you stimulate the energy meridians to resolve a specific negative feeling like anger, anxiety, guilt, shame, or to heal a traumatic memory, the words may go away and be replaced by a distinct sensation. That’s OK. Don’t try to put it into words, just tap the discomfort. You may even go back and forth between emotional feelings, thoughts and body sensations. Follow the Five Easy Steps until you feel neutral, and the tensions, pains or tightness are gone.
5. Touch and Breathe
Another approach that may appeal to you is called “Touch and Breathe.” TAB is a gentle substitute for tapping created by Dr. John Diepold. Use Meridian Therapy as described in Five Easy Steps. Instead of tapping, gently touch the energy point and take one or more normal breaths with each touch. This technique is especially helpful for people with arthritis or other problems that make tapping on the face or body uncomfortable.
6. Daily Workout
Going to the gym every day to keep fit is a popular pastime. Many of us take vitamins daily for our health. I practice Meridian Therapy every day as a mental health preventative. With the Daily Workout you can tap your troubles away before they can grow and fester into a major problem. I prefer to tap in the morning to remove the cobwebs of care that can ruin my day. Tap at any time that is best for you. Tap in the shower. Tap before you get out of bed or before you go to bed at night. Tap before you start your car or while it is warming up. Tap at red lights. I prefer to tap while I take my daily walk.
I didn’t know it was helping
One November a few years ago I hurt my foot and wasn’t able to walk for exercise while it healed. Since I do my Daily Meridian Therapy Workout during my walk, I stopped tapping regularly. I thought nothing of it and seemed to be getting along all right.
Although the weather in California was beautiful that December I seemed to have winter in my heart. I was surly and irritable. I kept telling my friends I was having a “Bah Humbug Christmas.” All through the month my husband would ask, “What is wrong with you?”
As December ended my doctor allowed me to resume exercise. Within three days of walking and tapping my mood transformed. My anger and negativity melted. It was obvious to me that doing the Daily Meridian Therapy Workout had kept me on an even keel emotionally. I felt good again and hadn’t attributed my sense of well being to Meridian Therapy until I noticed the change.
Create your own Workout
Daily Meridian Therapy can last one or two minutes or longer. The time you take to change your mood and feel energized will be different each day and reflect the ups and downs in your life. I suggest that you divide your daily regime into these three parts; however, you can do whatever works best for you as long as you do it every day.
Part One: Feel fit
First, focus on physical well being. As you begin, take stock of how you feel. Are you sleepy or tired due to a poor night’s sleep? Do you feel dyspeptic after eating spicy foods? Any aches or pains? Tap on all unpleasant sensations until you clear them. You don’t have to use a rating because you will know when the discomfort has disappeared.
Part Two: Today’s worries
Next, think about the problems that are on your mind, things that you are worrying, fearful or angry about.
- Uh-oh, it is time to pay your taxes - and you didn’t expect to owe this much.
- One of your children is starting to act rebellious, and you are so upset your gut is in an uproar because you are worried that he is on drugs.
- Your boss passed you over for a special assignment and gave it to someone not as qualified. You are steamed.
- You are frantic because your cat is missing.
- The plumber said he would come at 8 AM and it is now 10 AM.
As you review these issues you will notice that you are in touch with your anger, sadness, fear, or worry and can rate the negative emotional charge. These are the things that are “in your face” today. Take each one and tap until you have reached zero and feel calm. As you stimulate the energy meridians, solutions may come to mind or realizations abut what action needs to be taken. A sense of peace will come over you.
I don’t know what’s wrong
If you can’t think of anything specific, perhaps you are just feeling jittery or down in the dumps. Tap those feelings saying, “Even though I feel down in the dumps, I completely and profoundly accept myself.” After a few rounds ideas may come to mind revealing what is really going on underneath.
Do you hide what you are worried about from yourself because you are ashamed to admit you have certain feelings? Part of you knows it isn’t “nice” to feel envy or jealousy, yet you sometimes do. Admitting you are so angry with someone that you would like to hurt them can be scary. You know you would never actually do it, but even thinking about it causes guilt. You may think you have pushed it out of your mind, but you haven’t, so you might as well tap it away for good. One of the wonderful things about Meridian Therapy is that you can keep all the negative thoughts in the privacy of your own head while treating yourself.
Part three: Long-term projects
Finally, treat your long-term projects. These are situations, behaviors, chronic illnesses, or problems that won’t go away in a few minutes. One common complaint is waking in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep. The next morning you feel sleepy or cranky, but you can’t recreate the feeling of frustration of lying in bed wide awake at 4 A.M. Simply remember it and tap on the thought of waking up in the middle of the night. You don’t need to rate it from zero to ten.
Use Daily Meridian Therapy as an ongoing treatment. Create a reminder phrase that fits your chronic situation. “Waking at night,” “night time misery,” “I can’t sleep,” or “this sleep problem,” are different versions of the same thing. Find the phrase that has meaning for you. Tap a few rounds each day and trust the process.
Persist when you are depressed
Anyone who suffers from depression knows that even with powerful anti-depressants, the problem doesn’t go away immediately. Meridian Therapy is a wonderful adjunct to other treatments for depression. Daily tapping can change your mood. Call it “depression” or describe specific aspects of what you feel, “too tired to go out,” “hopeless and helpless,” “I’m never going to feel good.” Be patient, and you will notice results.
Treat addiction daily
Addicts and those battling other compulsive behaviors need to use Meridian Therapy every day. Tap as you name the general problem: “addiction,” “my problem,” “overeating,” “using,” “drinking,” “sugar cravings” or “I can’t have just one.” Tap about “loss of control,” “fear of loss of control,” “what I did yesterday,” or even “I’ll never get over this problem.” Keep it simple. Tap for as long as you like. You may be surprised to find you don’t want to use Meridian Therapy at all and conveniently forget to tap or find excuses to keep from practicing tapping. If you notice you are resisting, tap while you shout, “I don’t want to tap!”
Feeling powerless
Knowing that you feel powerless over a substance or behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. Make a list of all the other people, places and situations in your life you feel powerless to change. Use Meridian Therapy choosing one at a time. Cravings arise from the frustration and anger at not being able to control everyone and everything in your life. Apply Meridian Therapy to deal with powerlessness over a spouse, children, parents, co-workers, the government, and God. Address other things you cannot change such as your age, body type, height, skin color, or gender.
Keep it up
Daily Meridian Therapy need not take long, although some days you will have more on your mind than others. You don’t have to tap all three categories every day. Tailor the method to suit your available time and what is going on in your life. As you practice, day by day, you will feel better and better.
7. Speed it up with a shortcut
By now you know that you may be able to do a round of Meridian Therapy in less than a minute. If you eliminate tapping the karate chop spot or tender spot and the affirmation, and tap only the remaining seven points, you will shorten it even more. Sometimes you won’t be able to take the time to do more than a few seconds of tapping. Use this abbreviated version and you will see results.
The Super Shortcut
After applying Meridian Therapy for a while, you may notice that there is one point that seems to promote dramatic change or feels most satisfying when you stimulate it. When I introduce the energy points to my clients, I sometimes have to remind them to stop tapping under the collarbone or under the arm for example, because it feels so good they don’t seem to notice they are still tapping there. When you don’t have time to do the Five Easy Steps, tap your special point. If you don’t have a special point, ask your creative unconscious to guess what point would help. This is the “Super Shortcut.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How can I help a baby or someone very ill who can’t tap themselves?
A: Use surrogate tapping. A surrogate is a stand-in for another. When we share energy in the same space and have positive regard, one person can tap in place of another. The best example of this is shown in the bond between parent and child. When a baby is cranky, the parent can cradle the child and tap while speaking for the child. The person tapped for will benefit the same as if treated directly.
Marianne used surrogate tapping for her husband’s snoring. She said, “I’ve stopped his snoring several times by tapping on myself, while visualizing that he is tapping on himself. I think I am my husband and say, ‘Even though I am making these dreadful noises I deeply and completely accept myself.’ Usually before I finish two rounds he slowly quiets and stops. He rarely snores at all anymore.”
Q: When I tap by myself I don’t get the same effect as when I am with my therapist. Am I doing it wrong?
A: You are not doing it wrong. However, many people report a difference. During a counseling session my clients often sigh deeply or giggle when the energy shifts. They experience a noticeable change. Some report that they don’t get quite the same release when they work by themselves at home. But regardless, rest assured that Meridian Therapy will still give you great results when you use it on your own.
Tandem tapping
There appears to be something useful about two people working together. There is a living connection between us that enhances what is going on. In science it is now known that the intention of a scientist can influence the outcome of an experiment. The positive energy radiated by a caring professional, friend or family member has an effect on the other person. You may want to ask someone you trust to sit near you, in a state of mutuality and support. That special other can hold a positive attitude toward you while you tap or can tap along with you. Notice what happens.
Join the Tapping Revolution!
The seven variations I have described in this chapter are only a beginning. Try them out. Discover which ones work best for you. Meridian Therapy is flexible, so experiment with your own versions and share your discoveries.
Now you are ready to learn to tap away stress and negative emotions in the next chapter.
